It's always soothing to hear my wife whispering into my ear before bed, but not anymore.  She died 3 years ago.


I watched as my coworker Mike speedwalked into work with a rather wide smile on his face.  Minutes later, Mike rushed in saying, "Sorry I'm late".


I was home alone playing games late at night.  I went to reach for my drink, but instead it was handed to me.


Lightning flashed from outside and illuminated what I thought was my hat on a coat rack across my room.  When I went to check the time, my hand hit something on my side table: my hat.


After I had killed everybody in the house, I shut the door and sat down alone.  When I did, I heard a knock on the door.


Nothing beats living alone in a penthouse overlooking the city.  That is, until you're woken up by a knock at your bedroom door.


When my wife disappeared, no one ever found the body.  I must be doing a good job.